sometimes- a drabble from my blog

               Sometimes, you just want to let yourself believe that it’s worth something. Any of it, all of it. All of the time you spend, all of the effort you pour into it.

               Sometimes you want to feel that it’s all for a reason. Even if you have to lie to yourself, to let yourself believe it.

               To tell yourself the lie so that just for one second in the span of eternity you feel like you’re worth something. And to know for just one brief second in time that it was real. That you existed. That you were wholly alive and that you and who you are and what you did meant something.

               Even if it was only to you, and that’s all that it would ever be.

               And sometimes—just sometimes-- even the lie is enough.

  

thank you!

You know something guys, I've been working with my Youtube, going through my social media, watching all the new people following me, and the people signing up for email updates on my blog, and I've been talking with people who've liked or followed my work over the course of the last month or so, and there's no words to describe just how it feels to be sitting here, taking all of this in.

I always saw myself as a nobody from the middle of nowhere, and I always asked myself why anyone would ever want to read my work. Sitting here, getting all the feedback, having people tell me that my work touches them, that they enjoy it, hearing that they find inspiration in it? I can't imagine a better feeling of contentment and acceptance and happiness than I feel as I sit back and take it all in. And I wouldn't trade it for anything.

For those of you I've talked with, thank you, from the bottom of my heart thank you, for your time, for your dedication, for giving me a chance. For those who are new here, those I haven't talked to, I look forward to talking with you.



Jen K.

avsongbird

Driving at Night

I love to drive at night.... radio low...window down... the wind playing through my hair, twisting it and blowing it caressingly across my face, my hand gripping the wheel gently, but with an underlying firmness as my eyes are ever-scanning the dark for any impending possibility of calamity in my moonswept surroundings.

I love it. It gives me a chance to clear my head.

Sometimes I upturn my hand and let it slip out through the open window, turning it palm downwards, then up again fluidly, enjoying the feel of the cool night air slipping like water across my fingers as my car sails on down the darkened street, caught only occasionally in a sudden burst of streetlamp in the otherwise ebony-tinted, slumbering desert landscape I've known most of my life.

Sometimes I sing with the radio, sometimes not. Sometimes I listen to the cacophony of ideas and emotions whirling and raging around in my head, sometimes not.

Sometimes... you just need to let go, and drive.